A friend
Please do not read this blog if you are in a good mood. Please do not read this blog if you do not want to get irritated even more. Seriously. This is not a gimmick to attract anyone. (Smiling)I have no need to do that.
I met this guy first when I joined DAVG for 11th in 1996. We did not get to know each other until the end of 12th. We did not even get introduced to each other for a long time. We started to interact frequently when we joined Pilani as we were both in mechanical engg. Damn, he was a mech-by-choice. Now, how many get to do that? Over the four years we studied in Pilani, we started to get along well. You know, the frequency (or wavelength or time period whatever you want to call) of certain persons match. I do not want to get too personal here but he had done a lot of things for me, had given up a few. He is the only person who I 'listen' to when he shouts at me, when he advises me. He is and will be the only person who I talk to dumping whatever ego i have, even when he is irritated with me. He has struggled a lot to get to a stage where he is now.
Now comes the worst part. When he calls me up, just trying to vent his frustration on certain aspects of life, as a very thick friend I am supposed to partake of his mood. Well, that does not happen with me. Why? Because, I am not very good in talking things out. Why? Because, I think about myself as someone excellent, infact magnanimous, in writing things out! Words, to me, are more powerful than anything else! Well, let me be damned then. I do not know how many times I have felt this quality of mine is going to be a bane. It is going to affect me at some point in time. But still I am not able to change which is funny! I know just too well how it would feel with no one to share one's thoughts with, especially when those you think are good friends turn their back even more making you believe, for a moment, that you are a bloody untouchable.
This friend of mine reiterates time and again, how valuable our friendship is . Yet, when he needs someone to talk to, when I am the first person he calls up, all I do is to stay quiet and be not responsive. I believe in reciprocation. If someone does not reciprocate what I do, I will tend to say 'Thanks pal, you are just another passerby". I am just too proud of the word 'friendship' and its meaning to me that I do not want to break a few of them unnecessarily. Given all this,the way I am acting is a shame on my part. I am not following what I believe in.
Since I am talking about friendship, let me digress from the topic a bit. It is true that ego and pride should play no role between good friends. I would as much disagree with it as I agree, though. Because, there are a few people who cannot be bracketed into this category.
A friend in need is a friend indeed. I needed a friend but none of the souls was willing to listen to me. Now he needs a friend and I am not responding? So, who am I and how better am I than those souls?
I wish I say all this, in first person, to him. But..
I met this guy first when I joined DAVG for 11th in 1996. We did not get to know each other until the end of 12th. We did not even get introduced to each other for a long time. We started to interact frequently when we joined Pilani as we were both in mechanical engg. Damn, he was a mech-by-choice. Now, how many get to do that? Over the four years we studied in Pilani, we started to get along well. You know, the frequency (or wavelength or time period whatever you want to call) of certain persons match. I do not want to get too personal here but he had done a lot of things for me, had given up a few. He is the only person who I 'listen' to when he shouts at me, when he advises me. He is and will be the only person who I talk to dumping whatever ego i have, even when he is irritated with me. He has struggled a lot to get to a stage where he is now.
Now comes the worst part. When he calls me up, just trying to vent his frustration on certain aspects of life, as a very thick friend I am supposed to partake of his mood. Well, that does not happen with me. Why? Because, I am not very good in talking things out. Why? Because, I think about myself as someone excellent, infact magnanimous, in writing things out! Words, to me, are more powerful than anything else! Well, let me be damned then. I do not know how many times I have felt this quality of mine is going to be a bane. It is going to affect me at some point in time. But still I am not able to change which is funny! I know just too well how it would feel with no one to share one's thoughts with, especially when those you think are good friends turn their back even more making you believe, for a moment, that you are a bloody untouchable.
This friend of mine reiterates time and again, how valuable our friendship is . Yet, when he needs someone to talk to, when I am the first person he calls up, all I do is to stay quiet and be not responsive. I believe in reciprocation. If someone does not reciprocate what I do, I will tend to say 'Thanks pal, you are just another passerby". I am just too proud of the word 'friendship' and its meaning to me that I do not want to break a few of them unnecessarily. Given all this,the way I am acting is a shame on my part. I am not following what I believe in.
Since I am talking about friendship, let me digress from the topic a bit. It is true that ego and pride should play no role between good friends. I would as much disagree with it as I agree, though. Because, there are a few people who cannot be bracketed into this category.
A friend in need is a friend indeed. I needed a friend but none of the souls was willing to listen to me. Now he needs a friend and I am not responding? So, who am I and how better am I than those souls?
I wish I say all this, in first person, to him. But..
posted by Balaji Varadharajan at 8:43 PM
2 Comments:
Here is when I would like to say "Narayana Narayana". But I din't intent to do that.
well, what i have written has got nothing to do with what you said. i got the news a day later from him.
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